I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
