Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
