i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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