I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize