Where did you get a picture of my penis
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
