I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
