Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
