I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
