I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You're so nebulous sometimes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
