I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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