eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
