I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
