One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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