Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
