I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
