Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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