They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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