My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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