Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
