It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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