I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
