yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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