She's JV to your varsity
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
