Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
