I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
