She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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