yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
