Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
