How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize