I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
