I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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