kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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