HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm at about main and main street
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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