come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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