U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
