I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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