We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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