Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He? As in you personified your dick?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
