Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
