I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize