I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
