what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
