you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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