I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
