sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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