You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize