Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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