I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
