I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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