Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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