If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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