I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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