I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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