They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
