so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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