The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
