threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
