Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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