went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
