She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
