yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
