there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
