I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
