Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
