R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize