I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
jump out the window naked night went bad
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize