It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
