Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
