just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
