I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
