my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
false alarm. still invincible.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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